Miss-you postcards: what to send when you live far apart

Texts keep you up to date. They do not always make you feel close. A postcard is slower and smaller, and that is the point: someone chose a picture, wrote a few lines by thinking only about you, and sent it across the map.

Here is what to put on a miss-you card when the person is a long way off.

Send the ordinary, not the highlights

The things you miss about living near someone are small. Their card should be small too.

• The view from your desk or your kitchen window.
• The coffee place you would take them to.
• The dog asleep in their old spot.
• Dinner, even if it is just toast.

A photo of a normal Tuesday says "this is my life and you belong in it" better than a sunset does.

Messages you can borrow

For a partner

"Made your pasta tonight. It was fine. It is better when you complain about the garlic. Nineteen days."

For a best friend

"Saw a woman at the market arguing with a pigeon and had nobody to nudge. Come back, or at least call me Sunday."

For a parent

"I fixed the tap myself and heard your voice the whole time saying 'righty tighty'. Miss you. Home in March."

For a kid at college

"The house is too quiet and the fridge is too full. Proud of you. Call when you run out of clean socks."

For a grandchild

"Grandpa planted the sunflowers you picked. They are taller than you now. Come and measure."

For someone deployed or working away

"Nothing new here, which is the news. The porch light is on. We are counting the weeks with you."

Three small habits that help

• Count down. End each card with the number of days until you see each other.
• Make it a series. Send the same view once a month so they can watch the seasons change where you are.
• Ask one easy question. "What did you have for breakfast?" gets more replies than "How are you?"

When you cannot remember to send them

Good intentions fade after the second card. On postcards.lol you can set a monthly or weekly plan and write a prompt once, such as "every month, tell my sister Ana what is new in the garden". A new card goes out each time, and you can change the prompt or cancel at any time.

Start with one. Make a miss-you postcard, or send a thinking-of-you card for no reason at all.